Farting

[tinkerbell23]

My ex would have died if i ever did in front of him. I would have to!!

Im not a windy person and woulnt even pas wind infront of anyone tbh - my mum and dad even say theyve never heard me!

My friend farted by accident infront of her new man months ago and was mortified!!!!

Personally i just woulnt ever!!!!!!!!

I dont really mind if the guy does but id seriously rather they didnt.....

Whats your thoughts!?? Xx

[woofgang]

Get a dog, blame it on the dog, problem solved.

[MarkRae]

Better out than in...

[Prudie]

Why is that word so funny? anyway I'm like you, I've never done it willingly in front of anyone including partners. On the occasions I couldn't help it I wanted the ground to swallow me up. My OH is quite free, easy and loud with his offerings - I find it an odd mix of very funny but extremely unattractive.

[wiggal]

When I first got with my OH, I always said he would have to fart in front of me before I farted in front of him, and he said the same.

This went on for months..... then I think it was me who gave in and did it first, and now it is normal lol!

[tinkerbell23]

I know guys who think its halarious when their gf does it but seriously i think id die!!!!

Even if i think i might...i go to the loo and run the tap PMSL

Xxx

[murraymints]

Tinks..thought you were sleepy ???...no wonder you have troubled sleep ..such thoughts at bed time !!

[DTCwordfan]

What would you call the definition of surprise?
Answer: A fart with a lump in it.

[tinkerbell23]

I remember people saying its love when you fart infront of eachother cant remember who though! My mum and dad have been together like 26yrs and still bloody laugh!!!!!

X

[bibblebub]

old newspaper headline http://is.gd/gfB0so

[tinkerbell23]

Pmsl MM i was going to ask the other day! I am sleepy but staying up a bit longer..... I like a wee chat u know me ;0>

X

[headwreck]

On a headstone in an old church yard

Wherever you may be
Let the wind blow free
'Twas the keeping of the wind
Was the killing of me

as MR says, better out than in

[tinkerbell23]

Do you all lock the door when using the loo!? When OH is in?

Im sure the ex and I peed infront of each other but thats all!!!!!

[Zacs-Master]

Ooh no, you have to be on pooping terms.

[NoMercy]

My OH farts like a trooper. I am much more polite than him.

Oh how much more sleep I would get without his constant farting and pestering to play "hide the sausage"...

[Mamyalynne]

You stop worrying after 30 years.

[firewatch]

were marriead, so take me as you find me! We have to pass gas it natural and certain meds make it worse Im no longer mortified or easily embarassedhaving a baby sorts that one!

[rockyracoon]

Just found this while looking for a poem about farting that my nan used to say, I'm still laughing.


Here's a bit of a twist:

Oh what a sleekit, horrible beastie
Lurks in yer stomach efter a feastie
As ye sit doon amang yer kin,
There starts to stir a michty wind.

The neeps and tatties and mushie peas,
Stert workin like a gentle breeze
But soon the puddin' wi' the sonsie face
Will hiv ye blawin' a' ower the place.

Nae matter whit the hell ye dae
A?'body's gonnae huv tae pay
Even if ye try tae stifle,
It's like a bullet oot a rifle.

Haud yer bum tight tae the chair
Tae try tae stop the leakin' air.
Shift yersel' fae cheek tae cheek
An' pray to God it disnae reek.

But a' yer efforts go assunder,
Oot it comes like a clap o' thunder.
It ricochets aroon' the room,
Michty me! A sonic boom!

God almighty, It fairly reeks
(I hope a hivnae' Sugar ma breeks)
Straight tae the bog ah better scurry
Aw whit the hell, It's no ma worry.

A'body roon'aboot me's chokin'
Wan or twa are nearly bokin'.
Ah'll feel much better fur a while,
Ah cannae help but raise a smile.

'Twis him!! Ah shout, wi' accusin' glower.
Alas, tae late. He's jist keeled ower.
'Ye mingin' clert!' They shout and stare.
Ah amnae welcome ony mair.

Where e'er ye be, Let yer wind gang free
(Sounds jist the job fir thee an me)
Whit a fuss at Rabbies pairty
Ower the sake o' wan wee ferty.

Anonymous

[chi-chi66]

When I was a child we lived in a terraced house, when my dad had his funny head on, he would fart on every step coming downstairs. Mum and I would be in hysterics, don't know how he managed it! She would shout to him
if you broccoli those underpants, you will wash them by hand made me laugh all the more!!

I can do it when and where I want living on my own...bliss!!

[tinkerbell23]

Lol fire i bet it does!! Haahaha!!!

Lol @NOM xx

[HowardKennitby]

Remember - when you get old farts are not to be trusted.