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Telling her i love her?

I met a woman exactly a month ago today, and i really love her to pieces, is it too soon to tell her this? or should i wait till she tells me? i dont want to scare her off!!!

paddywoo (Sat 14:28 20/Nov/04)

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Answers 1 to 18 of 18

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KittyGlitter
(Sat 14:51 20/Nov/04)

It's a tricky one as she could be waiting for you to say it. Then you'll both be waiting for ever. What vibe are you getting from her? Do you think she feels the same way? Whether a month is too soon or not, is not really for anyone to say as we can't assess your relationship. My only advice is go on your gut instinct - that is all you can do because every relationship is different and there are no set rules. Let us know how you get on :-)

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paddywoo
(Sat 15:02 20/Nov/04)
Question Author
ok well im going to do it! but if it screws things up, i expect a date with you kitty!
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KittyGlitter
(Sat 15:21 20/Nov/04)

Ha ha, at least your not shy! Cheeky!

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Bangkok
(Sat 15:22 20/Nov/04)
Yes it is too early.  As long as you show consideration, tact and interest, she can wait a little before a declaration of love. 
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paddywoo
(Sat 16:02 20/Nov/04)
Question Author
lol im kinda hoping you are female kitty! or that could be my second mistake of the day!
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secretspirit
(Sat 17:23 20/Nov/04)
I think if you're sure she feels the same way then go for it. If you're not certain then try and wait a while. My other half and I said it (and meant it) after only a week together and we've been together 6 years and married nearly 4 so it doesn't always mess things up!
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mullein
(Sat 21:00 20/Nov/04)
i would tell you act in haste repent in leisure..you dont know anyone until you have lived with them..as people can tell you exactly what you want to hear ..and their you are thinking you have met the perfect person...i have come accross to many people that have jumped into the perfect relationship  only to find out the opposite..i would hold back for now book a holiday together for next year and see how that goes..before you declare love  if you can survive a holiday then maybe it is the real thing..the passion side of love soon dies and you need to be left with someone you get along with and that you are comfortable with them...my god i must sound like an agony aunt ..i really do wish you well ..mullein
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Hgrove
(Sat 21:02 20/Nov/04)
I would wait a bit longe too but in the meantime it would be a good idea wto give her little surprises like flowers etc.
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El D
(Sun 20:39 21/Nov/04)
No need to use the L word just yet, easily freak her out. Just buy her some flowers and give them to her and tell her you think she is a wonderful person, you;re so happy you met her etc.
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keirah
(Sun 20:49 21/Nov/04)

tell her she will love u 2 be honest

 

good luck   keirah

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keirah
(Sun 20:50 21/Nov/04)
i meant all women loved to be told that they r loved tell her whatg u got 2 lose
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hell365
(Sun 21:28 21/Nov/04)
go 4 it my boyfriend told me after 4 weeks and i had no problem with it.
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CHOPS'R'US
(Mon 08:19 22/Nov/04)
Hey Paddywoo i am in the same situation right now but i'm female, we have spoke about between us and have only been together a month. For me personally i have never felt like this before and have been in a 4 year relationship and that was nothing like this one, we just seem to click so well and seem to know what's going on with each other without having to ask. We admitted to each other that we feel very strongly  and one day it will no doubt be able not to say it but we are just taking it easy and enjoying each others company, i think it's the best way and just be patient and it will come with time..
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natalie_1982
(Mon 12:58 22/Nov/04)

Personally I would find it strange if you said that after only a month.  Although I have been there and the r/ships fizzled out pretty soon after they declared their undying love to me. 

 

I told my boyfriend I loved him after 7 months, because I've always been scared that I get the butterflies of a new r/ship confused with love so I'm always very careful, however 2 years on I still have the butterflies and am glad I told him. 

 

A month isn't a long time, there are still things me and my partner are still learning about eachother.  Give it a little longer :)  But good luck in whatever you do.

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Miss Zippy
(Mon 17:07 22/Nov/04)
I think the fact you�re asking this question means that you think it�s too soon.  If you were certain if was the right time to say it, you wouldn�t have to ask. I would say hold off declaring undying love for a little bit longer. The problem is, when a man declares undying love so soon, us women have a tendency not to truly believe you because we think there�s a danger you could be confusing lust/being smitten (the feelings being smitten causes should not be underestimated) with love. Enjoy romancing her and letting feelings really build up until you get to the stage where you can�t hold back any longer and you have to tell her. There are plenty of other things you can say to her to let her know the kind of feelings you have for her, without having to mention love.
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coggles
(Mon 21:05 22/Nov/04)

Hello paddywoo. You have had lots of good answers, particularly from Miss Zippy. When you know you just have to say those three words because nothing else you have said describes how you feel, then say it.

2 weeks after I met my (now) husband, we were saying goodnight (at this point, we had had lots of 'kisses and cuddles' but nothing more). He said to me 'I wish you were my wife' and I said 'I wish I was too'. We were both in our late 20's and had had a couple of long relationships before, but this felt different for both of us.

 

We went on holiday to a beautiful Greek island when we had been together for 11 weeks and got to know each other VERY well... On our second day, he proposed, I accepted (thinking about time!) we married 14 months after we met. We have now been married for over 11 years, and have 2 children aged 1 & 4.

All I can say is, go with your heart, but try and read your girlfriend well too.

 

The very best of luck to you both.

 

P.S. Sorry to have waffled and sounded a bit Mills and Boonish, but it still gives me goose-pimples thinking about how we met!

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coggles
(Mon 21:10 22/Nov/04)

I have just realised that it may sound as if he said about 'being his wife' just to 'get into my knickers'!

 

I hope that doesn't get deleted or offends anyone.

 

We both fancied each other from the minute we met, but wanted our first time to be very special - and it was, and still is. 

 

 

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bruce-lucie
(Wed 00:12 24/Nov/04)
time doesn't matter, if you feel there is the right time and want to, its obviosuly bothering you to bring it up so i reckon you should say it.  If the relationship is a serious commitment then it should only make it stronger, but only say it if you truly mean it from the bottom of your heart..

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