Double standards? Fat vs thin
Why is it that people think it is bad manners to tell someone they are too fat / or have put on heaps of weight. (and it IS bad manners indeed!)
BUT...
those same folk dont think a thing of telling a person they are too skinny / have lost too much weight etc....
Gets me mad
evedawn Sun 09/11/08 19:02
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Plain lack of tact eve! Usually the type of person likely to put their foot in it regularly. The kind of person who's absolutely perfect with no faults of their own! xxx
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Question Author
those people don't go up to folk and tell 'em they're fat .... or do they?
Next time someone says I am "too skinny" (though I am well within a healthy BMI) I'm gonna tell 'em to ....aaargghhhh - i dunno!
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Eve, I'd love someone to tell me I'm too skinny! lol! xxx
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Hi, I have to say I know how you feel as I have had the 'skinny' jokes all my life. Made me feel like a freak, it DOES happen to all.
I have cried in shops and offices due to the cruelty and walked away from nights out because of it.
Its cruel no matter what your size and I sympathise.
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but, my friend has had it on the 'fat' side and its so much worse I think.
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One of my sons who is really tall, gets fed up with people coming up to him and saying "Aren't you tall!"
And as he says, he wouldn't dream of saying to someone:
"aren't you short!"
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Question Author
Yeah you'd "think" it was a compliment but truth is I find it insulting. it just amazes me that people feel they have the right to discuss anyones body shape at full volume.
Go figure....people huh?!
thanks 4 your views though... :-)
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I totally agree with you evedawn. I posted something similar a few weeks ago. I am tall and slim (not thin) but am always being asked "have you lost weight"?... or other comments about how thin I am.
really gets on my nerves. If a colleague had put on weight, no way would I mention it to her...
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I just dont get it.
Some folk should keep their gobs shut if they cant say something nice eh
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Question Author
Do any of you reply with a sarcastic retort? Do you ignore it? Do you ever tell people it bothers you? Or that it is not their business?...or do you just try rise above it?
I'm curious....
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Well on the subject of my son, he was told once he would make a good basketball player and he retorted back;
" You would make a good father christmas!"
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I did come back with a few, but as I had been so hurt Im afraid mine came out very cheeky and I felt bad
One person said "OMG youre so skinny" and I said "aye at least Im not ugly" lol
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Good on you Weeal!!!! Lol.
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Well, if you all think that was bad what do you think of my mother-in-law who said 'no wonder she can't conceive, she hasn't got the hips to carry a baby!' and the fault wasn't coming from me!
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Question Author
Jeepers coccinelle!!!!!
I am angry ON YOUR BEHALF!!!!
I hope your hub put his mum right?!
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I am also very slim and have been accused of being anorexic and a smack head by different people. :(
I once replied to one woman who said I was skinny "you're looking well,when is your baby due".I knew she wasn't pregnant but she was a bit plump.I have never seen anyone go so red faced when she tried to explain that she wasn't pregnant.
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My Mum is such an image fascist. She went up to this old friend of hers in the street and congratulated him for losing so much weight. He actually had cancer. See, I would never do that. I think it is very rude to comment on someone's personal appearance, whether fat, thin, "good" or "bad".
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now c'mon guys, it's always been acceptable to congratulate people on their health and tell them they're looking good. Being thin is still thought of as looking good, and if you don't believe me, look at Heat's photos of anyone with a millilitre of cellulite, or look at the diet stories in any newspaper or magazine.
I'm not saying the idea that thin=healthy, fat=unhealthy is a good one. But it's deeply ingrained in our culture. Anyone who tells you you're not looking fat thinks they're being nice and complimentary (unless you're truly skeletal).
I don't know what you weigh, evedawn, but whatever it is I'll swap bodies with you tomorrow...
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Your best bet's to laugh it off evedawn, or just ignore it. If I had a pound for every time someone's made a crack about my my slender frame, I'd need a shopping bad to carry the cash around in!
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I really couldn't agree with you more, evedawn, and I've experienced both just this year.
My nan always used to comment on how big I was and my "impressive thighs" and we were always telling her how rude she was being. Anyway, this year I have lost a lot of weight (I'm 2lbs from my 5 stone loss target) and I have only had two compliments on how well I look. I have been told countless times how I look too thin, how I've taken it too far and even had one of our customers come into my office last week to ask what the real problem was that made me lose weight! I had to tell him to leave my office in the end, he upset me so much.
I've even had to comfort two member of my family who came to me crying and saying they were worried I was ill!
All of this has offended me and upset me more than any comment from when I was big. I've worked really hard to lose this weight and I'm smack-bang in the middle of my healthy BMI range now! :(
Whether people think you're too thin or too big, the fact they're commenting on it implies that you're unattractive because of it.
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