I have just found out a male friend of mine is bisexual . I must admit to being ignorant about this , can somebody shed some light on what bi sexuality means? Does it mean he is and interacts with both sexes?
flump1 Wed 03/09/08 22:22
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basically, he shags anything and lets anything shag him.
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How did you find out what he is without finding out what it means?
Didn't you ask?
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Question Author
hi jj , no I was looking for him and found him in a gay community site !! Nearly had kittens and I haven't spoken to him yet.
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Basically it means he is attracted to,and would have sex with both sexes(usually seperately).
Most of the Bi~Sexuals I have know are usually in a stable relationship with either the opposite or the same sex.
However,the ones I knew were also quite promiscous,and tended to have sex with whatever sex was offering it.
The incidence of the same Bi~Sexuality varied.Some Bi~Sexuals can go for months(if not years) without having sex with same or opposite sex(depending on the relationship they are in) but as I say may are more free in whom they sleep with.
If by "Interacts" you mean sex,then yes.
It's a complicated subject.If you are confused,or want a bit clearer information,let me know.
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Just means he has an attraction to both sexes rather than just one.
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In A Pickle ... that's comprehensive.
So if you mostly have a series os monogomous relationships, with members of the opposite sex, and the very odd occasional encounter with one or two people of your own sex, you're just normal.
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Question Author
Thank you all, I A P you are a treasure ! It has opened my eyes somewhat I can tell you and I have not had the courage to talk to him . I have sent him a text saying why did he not tell me and right now he is in denial !! Asking me what I mean ! Oh boy and I thought I knew this guy . !
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When Stacey found out her boyfriend was bisexual, she did not know which way to turn!
My friend, too, is bisexual; when he wants sex, he buys it!
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Hi flump1, if he wanted to tell you in my opinion he would. It is obviously something that he thought he could not talk to you about. I have a friends who are bisexual and friends who are gay and they are ALL different as are my hetrosexual friends. You can't label people. If your friend calls himself bisexual then accept it. He is still your friend isn't he?
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Question Author
Oh yes indeed we will still be friends, however our relationship WAS heading towards the bedroom , hence my horor at him not being honest with me !!
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Hey, there's some potential there, flump1 !!!
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Well you need to make your decsion based on how much you wanted to be with him. If he told you would it have made a difference? In this day and age it is always a good idea to talk to a potential sexual partner about their sexual history.
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Question Author
yes we had spoken about it and according to him he is straight , which when I came across him in a gay forum I nearly flipped !!
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jayne,
Well,in my humble opinion,if you have sex with the same sex(even if only VERY infrequently) that makes you(in my eyes) Bi~Sexual.
I had a Bi~Sexual acquaintance(many years ago) and only saw him (and had sex with him) twice a year.
He regarded himself as"normal"(whatever that may mean) and I regarded him as Bi~Sexual!
BTW,although he was having sex with me(a gay male) he didn't see it as being unfaithful to his wife,because I was not a woman!
Amazing how men can justify things to salve their conscience!
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Well that is more to do with deception really then isn't it and that is prevalent whether gay/bi/or straight!
Good luck anyway with whatever you decide as at the end of the day you are the only one who can make that decision.
Hxx
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flump.It's sometimes easier for someone who is actually gay to "come out(firstly) as being Bi~Sexual,as this is seen to be more acceptable than completely gay.I am not saying he is gay just that sometimes it's how gay guys "ease" their friends into the idea.
He may be just Bi~Sexual for all I know.
Sadly all the Bi~Sexuals I have know have had unhappy relationships,because they cannot make a decision as to what sex they want to be with and stick to it,attracted to both sexes as they are.
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Mulling this one over, In A Pickle.
I've had a few encounters with other girls, but don't think of myself as anything other than hetero ... cos it was just a bit of fun, with no suggestion of any emotional element.
Does that make a difference? And I wonder if it isn't a bit different for girls, cos we don't read into things so deeply (although some men would say that the opposite is true),
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Question Author
Thanks again IAP and all, I will always have affection for this guy , I am right now in shock and feeling a little let down. It changes the way I feel about him inasmuch as I will not be engaging in bed wrestling as he had led me to believe we would.
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Flump1 ... does this guy actually have a relationship with another male at the mo, or is it hypothetical?
I mean ... if he has another partner, he is out ofbounds, regardless of whether the partner is male or female.
If he doesn't ... ?
Does it matter if he has a notional affection for men and women?
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jayne,
Far be it for me to label you.
I am only sayint that IMHO anyone who has sex ,no matter how infrequently or however fleeting,with the same sex IS Bi~Sexual.
But that is only MY point of view(as a gay man) everyone has to decide for themselves how and what they see as their sexuality.
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