Workplace Bullying, What should I do? :(

[ciaraciara]

I've just finished my first week of a new job working in a factory in order to save up money to do my masters. It's going well, apart from one girl whom I have to work in close proximity with. At first, she was very friendly and nice to me, always smiling and laughing. I thought she was a really fun person. She offered to stay back and wait with me when I had to wait for a lift home from work so that I wouldn't be on my own. To be honest, I wouldn't have minded staying on my own but she seemed to want to wait. She gives another co-worker a lift home so she had to wait also.

The next day in work, we were packing chicken (it's a meat factory) and two of her packages were sent back as they weren't done properly. Then he supervisor picked up one of my packages and said it was an example of how it should be done. That was laughed off but at the end, when another of her packages was sent back she practically threw it at me and told me to finish it for her "since I'm so good at it." I told her to finish it herself but she put it down in front of me and walked away so I just did it to avoid an argument.

Later that day we were talking to a co-worker whom we hadn't met before. I was asking him if he liked the job and he said that he preferred working in the other section of the factory. The girl then joked, "Yeah well it's probably the people up here that make it worse for you," so I said back to her "Yeah, like you," and laughed since I thought it was all light-hearted fun. Then she just turned on me and said that they(she and the other girl she gives the lift to) were nice enough to stay behind with me the night before and that I'd given them nothing but dog's abuse since. She said it with such aggression that I was actually a bit taken aback and kind of felt like crying, just because she'd said it in front of the other guy who we'd just met. I felt really humiliated that she was being so nasty to me in front of him, as I'd hardly given her "dog's abuse." The thing with her is that if she's in a good mood she'll be singing and ordering people around to "hurry up girls, we can do this," which is all very fine but then her mood can turn and she'll bite the head off me. Also, if I ask a question, which she thinks has an obvious answer she'll look at me as if I'm the stupidest person she's ever seen and give a really "well d'uuuuuh" answer, and always in front of other people as well which makes me feel embarrassed and like the weak one who can't defend herself.

Nobody else seems to mind her so I don't really have anyone to turn to. I don't want to go to a superior as I think it would make things worse because I need to keep this job for as long as I can in order to save money. I just want some advise on how to deal with this myself, how can I make her respect me and stop thinking that she can treat me like this? How can I regain control and stop her from intimidating m
Sorry for the really long-winded question, I hope you've lasted to the end and can offer some advice!

[ciaraciara]

Nodger, I don't think I could live with myself if it meant I had to suck up to her to make her feel superior. I think she sees me as an easy target because I'm very un-intimidating. I'm not sure if she knows about my plans to do a masters but she may have picked up on them when I mentioned it in passing.. So maybe that has got something to do with it.

[ciaraciara]

Yeah another friend advised me to take her aside and ask her if she had a problem with me.. It's taking over far too much of my head space at the moment so I just need to get my plan of action sorted and go in with a clear head on monday. Thanks for the advice so far everyone, it is really helping! :)

[cathfromsaron]

THIS REMINDS ME:

in a bank call-centre job (?) i was once 'mentored' by a horrid person, who hadn't been to Uni (i had just qualified) and had a chip on her shoulder about it!

she said variously, 'it isn't like just writing an essay' OR 'it isn't like going to lectures' to put me down, then she would fail to explain things properly so i had to ask again ... then she would speak to me like an idiot and try to put me down!

DON'T FALL FOR IT!

cath x

[237SJ]

Personally, I wouldn`t use the expression "Have you got a problem with me"? That`s classic fighting talk that is going to make her defensive. I would try to be neutral and go along the lines that you have got off on the wrong foot and misunderstand each other.

[cathfromsaron]

i would try to not speak at all.

[ciaraciara]

It seems to be a common enough problem by the sounds of things Cath! I suppose when you think about it, rising above it is the only option if I want to avoid becoming consumed by it because it obviously makes her feel better when I'm clearly hurt. Hopefully this weekend will be long enough for me to build up my armour :)

[EDDIE51]

Hesitate to suggest this but could it be a ' time of the month' thing on her part ? I had to work with a lady who was 'sweetness and light' 3 weeks out of 4 but a real bitch on the 'wrong week' we soon learned when to keep our heads down. You probably have not been there long enough to find our yet though.

[cathfromsaron]

she will have done it before and have her regular little audience ... don't rise! you may even be old news come monday!

(((hugs)))

cath x

[ethandron]

Try to find something nice to say to her everyday, compliment her hair or nails or makeup or shoes, or how well she gets on with everyone, or how well she knows her job, anything positive. And ignore the rest. If you rise to the bait it'll just get worse.
I worked on a cornflake packing line when I was at college many moons ago and it's very true, these people are there for the rest of their lives, you're only there for a few months so you can put up with it for the money you'll earn, with the knowledge that you have a future somewhere else.

[woofgang]

okay I know this is going to sound like geek speak but she can't MAKE you angry. Its words, just words, you decide how to respond and you make yourself angry...believe me you CAN choose not to be. be polite, smile, ignore the jibes, if you have to ask her a question listen to the answer not the tone of voice or words used and than her for her help. She can help you to learn the valuable skill of self control if you will see it that way. This is my own personal experience not ***.

[woofgang]

the asterisks are cos i wrote bull manure.

[ciaraciara]

Okay, I'll try those techniques and see if they help. The main thing I'm picking up is to not let her see that she's having an effect on me. Thanks as always for the wise words! :)

[lcg]

tell her to p i s s off and get a life/polite attitude when she sounds off. don't shout or repeat but say what you want to about her attitude...that it stinks and she blatantly has no manners. tell it like it is.

[TOWIE]

I wouldn't take her to one side and chat with her - that just gives her more self importance - I know its hard, but just ignore her - blanking someone is the best form of attack - it really gets to them. Its a horrible situation, especially when you are spending most of your day at work.

[nextqueen]

I agree, I wouldnt take her to one side, I would try and ignore her. Cant you sabotage her work by throwing in an extra chicken fillet into every other box of her work, lol! It's hard, I used to have comments made to me at work and I was never quick enough to have a good reply. I just kept out of their way as much as possible and did alot of singing to myself and tried to look happy all the time. Arent some people just nasty yet others seem to like them or do they just tolerate them. I can never understand why certain people are friends yet one is so nice and the other is so two faced, what do they get out of it eh!

[pizza]

MMMM This girl sounds like a very insecure person, eager to help new staff to make herself look good but jealous of them when they do well in the workplace, you don't say how long she has been there but for me the fact that your good work has been praised speaks for itself and if it was me I couldn't work in an atmosphere and would have to speak to a supervisor to see how the situation could be resolved.
The put up and shut up days are gone and we all have rights not to be bullied or intimidated in the workplace and employers need to be kept informed of these situations.
I have worked as a senior in the workplace for a lot of years and these things need nipping in the bud before the escalate.
You got this job, it's your chance to save for your future don't let this continue you are on a works trial and you need to speak to someone that can help you x