HELP ME WRITING

[smilingcrow]

I am writing a short story for a local group. It is a vampire, comedy, romance. Can anyone think of any jokes to put in or funny story lines? I have writers block.

[doctordb]

Vampire with false teeth?

[mrs_overall]

Vampire with toothache has his fangs extracted?

[mrs_overall]

Vampire develops an allergy to blood?

[treetops1]

Excuse me he said" before I drink your blood have you had any infectious diseases, whats your blood group and have you eaten any garlic lately."

[factor-fiction]

"Mummy, am I a vampire?"
"Shut up and eat your soup before it clots"

[starone]

Daddy, daddy, what's a vampire?
Shut up and drink your blood.

[smilingcrow]

Thats great some funny ideas

[DTCwordfan]

what do vampires use for teabags?

I'll leave you work that one out........

[Kiki-frog]

DT, stop it.

[smilingcrow]

I dont know. Whats the punch line? blood orange fruit tea bags? Thats not funny though. Im bad at jokes

[Baldric]

A Jewish Vampire, facing a crucifix being held up defensively by a potential female victim, "My dear, have I ever got news for you"

(borrowed from a film)

[EcclesCake]

Gross DT, I think there is a whole raft of similar though......

[maggiebee]

Q. Why did the vampire need mouthwash? A. Because he had bat breath.

Q. What’s a Vampire’s least favorite song? A. Another one bites the dust!

Q. How did the ghost say goodbye to the vampire? A. So long sucker!

[DTCwordfan]

lol Kiki......smiling, probably needs all sorts for her yarn........

"Mummy, Mummy! Am I really a Vampire?"
"Hurry up and drink your soup before it clots!"

Where do vampires make they're withdrawals?
At the blood bank.

How do vampires get around on Halloween night?
By blood vessels.

What are a vampire's favorite snacks?
Adam's apples and nectarines.

What did the Mommy Vampire say to the Baby Vampire?
"You are driving me batty."

What do you give a vampire with a cold?
Coffin Drops!

What is Dracula's favorite holiday?
Fangsgiving!

What kind of dog does Dracula have?
A Bloodhound!

[maggiebee]

Q. What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire? A. It’s a pain in the neck.
Q. How does a girl vampire flirt? A. She bats her eyes.

[rowanwitch]

Vampire girl trying to put make up on ( you can't see them in a mirror.... )

[mike b]

What do you get if you burn a Hungarian vampire?
- Goulash...